Republic of adulthood: the new trend that leads people to live with strangers

Living with strangers? Bathrooms always busy, dishes unwashed in the kitchen and people playing music loudly in the next room when you go to sleep?

Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be this way.

These factors have meant that living in a community has started to attract the attention of the media – and the number of people adopting this type of housing is increasing.

Living with other people can bring more benefits than harm. The big question is whether society is ready for this.

Rosie Kellett is 30 years old, lives in London and is a food writer.

In 2020, she went through a separation and needed to find a new place to live. Kellett found out through social media that there were vacancies in a warehouse – an old industrial building, adapted for housing.

She estimates that in Hackney Wick – the east London neighborhood where she lives – there are around 100 communities living in warehouses. But her community is different from others.

“We set up a little differently,” she says.

Kellett lives with six other people, ranging in age from around 30 years old. Every week, each of them deposits 25 pounds (around R$160) into a shared bank account, to cover the costs of maintenance and kitchen materials, garbage bags, cleaning products and dinner for all residents.

Every night, one person cooks. In a community chat group, people confirm whether they will be home for dinner, whether they want to have their dish saved for when they arrive later, or whether they will be bringing a guest.

There are household chores – and community meetings.

“You have to do several polls on WhatsApp to get a half-hour window in which everyone can attend,” Kellett tells the BBC. “But we try to hold meetings as regularly as possible. This way, if someone is not satisfied with their tasks or wants to discuss any topic, the situation does not get worse.”

For her, the best thing about living in a community is that there is always someone at home. And the residents feel like family. “I’ve never really felt this way with the people I’ve lived with before.”

Kellett says it is very difficult to find a house in London, due to the housing crisis. “I think it’s becoming impractical to live right here… to me, it’s like we’ve fallen through a little crack in the system.”

Of course, there are also disadvantages. Kellett has trouble taking time for herself.

“It can be very difficult to separate myself from the big table full of people,” she says. “And even if you decide not to attend a party, you will still hear it.”

“We have two showers and two bathrooms, which are shared by residents without any major problems. But a washing machine simply isn’t enough.”

People who live in the community warehouse usually stay there for a few years. But there are other common dwellings created for people who intend to live in the same place permanently.

Creal Zearing is 36 years old and lives with her husband and three-year-old daughter in community housing in Madison, in the US state of Wisconsin.

“My husband bought the first unit where we lived,” she tells the BBC. “He started looking when we were dating for about three months.”

“I knew what community housing was and thought it was good. If we stay together, I might actually end up enjoying it. And sure enough, everything worked out well between us.”

They live in Arbco shared housing, which includes two blocks of apartments and some family homes. Each unit has its own bedroom, bathroom and kitchen.

Around 100 people live there, including families with children and single elderly people.

“Technically, our cohousing is a condominium association – that’s how it’s legally structured,” explains Zearing.

“We own our home, but we pay a condominium fee every month, which helps pay for the community spaces we use and includes some insurance coverage for our home.”

Each resident prepares meals every few weeks and there are social events, such as parties and a monthly gathering where everyone sings. There are also fortnightly condominium meetings and committee and administration meetings.

“I work full time,” explains Zearing. “But there is a group of people who are retired, and they probably do more regular tasks together that I can’t.” But the group expects each resident to contribute four hours of work per month.

“What I really, really value is that we have a great community of moms and dads,” she says. “As a new mother, I was able to really lean on these parents for guidance.”

Zearing also loves coming home from work, tired, and simply taking her daughter to play in the yard with other children. She always has friends and company at her disposal.

But not everything works perfectly well. The community just had a big meeting about participation.

“Many of us who are actively engaged feel like we’re doing everything we can. But you still see some people who are probably doing nothing,” she says.

“And there’s a lot of invisible work going on.” Her husband received criticism a few times after suggesting new ways of doing things and meeting resistance.

There is a huge variety of community housing configurations in the Western world, created for a variety of reasons.

In the United Kingdom, the covid-19 pandemic contributed to increased interest in community housing. Members of a successful center in Suffolk, England, told BBC News in 2023 that community housing helped them weather the cost of living crisis.

“It can be very confusing,” says Penny Clark, co-director of British community housing organization Diggers and Dreamers. Clark specializes in “intentional communities” – residences in which, according to the academic definition, five or more unrelated people live together voluntarily.

She explains that there is also cohabitation, in which people have their own independent homes, defined community spaces and the community is self-managed.

In housing cooperatives, ownership is shared, but the property does not always function as an intentional community.

There is also a relatively new sector, which is cohousing. This is where Clark works as a consultant.

Here, a company creates a building with independent apartments or studios, as well as common areas. But these are not intentional communities either.

“And finally there are communes, which are very rare in the UK these days,” she explains.

“According to academic definitions, what differentiates communes from other types of communities is that there is a high degree of income sharing. The income goes into the pot and people only spend things together.”

What about Rosie Kellett’s warehouse and people who live in integrated shared homes, with people they consider close friends or even family? Well, these can be considered intentional communities, according to Clark; perhaps they are just less organized and more organic, because the number of members is smaller.

Clark believes many people may be turning to community housing because the housing market is under such pressure. Other people look for this type of housing because they want to be more environmentally sustainable.

And, of course, in today’s atomized society, with family members living far from the city where they were born, social connection is an important factor. In fact, research indicates that people who live in intentional communities have the same quality of life as the happiest people in society.

But is this way of living good for everyone?

“Certainly, there are compromises,” according to Clark. “The work in community life can be considerable – sometimes it works very badly and people leave very shaken.”

And it’s also not easy to create a new co-housing community from scratch. There is little available land, the financial risks are great and banks are hesitant to lend money.

“We’re in a system that has certain assumptions about what a good life and a good home is,” Clark says. “And community housing does not fit into these premises. We have this mentality in society that privacy is a good thing, that having things is a good thing.”

Sharing your living space is not an aspiration, she explains. “The idea of ​​a good house is a big house, owned by you.”

But existing communities like Arbco often receive inquiries from people who want to move there.

In London, Rosie Kellett shared two videos about her lifestyle on Instagram. Many people contacted her, asking if they could move into the warehouse, too.

“I felt really bad because we’re not accepting new residents,” she says. “There’s certainly a desire for more spaces like this, but you kind of have to organize it yourself.”

– Hold regular meetings among residents to resolve any problems.

– Get ready to work in some way. Everyone needs to collaborate.

– Set aside some time away from colleagues.