From time to time, lawyer Marina*, 28, moves away from social media. The measure is a way of dealing with anxiety and taking a “break” when you feel like you need to recharge your energy. With a job that requires constant use of her cell phone for communication, whether through calls and emails or via WhatsApp, she realizes that, at times, she no longer wants to open the app outside of business hours or on weekends. . “Sometimes, I just want to be on my cell phone to distract myself, without the obligation to respond to messages. And then I don’t respond until it’s okay to have a conversation. Other times, I just want to throw my cell phone away and go do something else,” she confesses, jokingly.
Mental exhaustion also contributes to the decision to take a break, both from life off screen and on it. “My way of recovering internally is by being silent, whether for a few hours or being offline for days to think. That depends on what I’m going through. Just like a server that tilts and needs to stop for maintenance before reopening access, I work a little like that too”, explains the lawyer.
Although she is aware of what overwhelms her and the ways in which she manages to recharge herself, she recognizes that more introspective moments and solitude can be a challenge for those who live with her. “I tend to communicate a lot online and, from one moment to the next, I disconnect. Most of the time, it’s nothing personal, I just need space. But I’ve had problems in relationships because of that”, says Marina. She says that now she has tried to improve and give at least some sign that she needs to disappear temporarily, but still considers that understanding and respecting the decision to leave ends up being a thermometer to measure whether she feels comfortable “reappearing”. “I’m lucky to live with people who respect my issue, but it’s always a misfortune in new relationships,” she acknowledges.
According to psychologist Igor Hempfling, behaviors similar to that of the lawyer are completely natural – and what’s more, they are also healthy. “We live in a society in which we ourselves place the opinion of others in a very decisive space of power in our lives. When you listen to what the other person says and that has the power to decide your next action, things become exhausting. Going to a party, a barbecue or another commitment more to please others than yourself is exhausting,” she notes.
In this context, taking time to “get away” is recommended, mainly because it represents the ability to say “no” and put well-being as a priority. “There needs to be a balance. The opinion of others is important, we live in a society, we live with other people, so the opinion will have a weight, but it cannot be to the point of defining all the decisions in your life”, he comments. “At one time or another you will give in, even if you don’t want to. But, if you always give in, embrace this opinion, you will live your life according to the other person, and not according to you”, he adds.
According to Hempfling, taking a break or deciding to go offline for a few moments are also necessary methods for there to be balance in life. “We need to have moments when there is no mental exhaustion, work. You need to have pleasure, rest. If we don’t have this, we will start to reach our limit”, she points out.
Social media Roberta*, 25, says that taking a little time to disconnect, especially from your cell phone, is part of your rest routine. “I work with communication and social networks. So, due to the configuration of my work, I am in contact with people all the time, whether approving some material, lining up some demand, or creating some posts. Apart from the days when I need to go to the places and events I work with, to participate and accompany clients. This is all very tiring mentally, so at the end of the day, I always take a break,” she says.
In order to have her time, Roberta explains that she usually puts her cell phone in another room and chooses hobbies that don’t involve conversation and interaction. “The same happens on weekends when there is no event or commitment. On these days, I like to wake up early, take care of the house and stay quiet in my room. Sometimes I’m watching something on TV, other times I’m playing a game on the phone or sleeping,” she says. As for messages on her cell phone, if they are not urgent or family-related, she prefers to respond at another time.
Hempfling reiterates the importance of these getaways and also understanding that it is not possible to please everyone all the time, so there is nothing wrong with choosing not to go to that family barbecue, friend meeting or respond to a message afterwards. “We try to please the people who are most important, but, above all, we have to please ourselves.”
*Fictitious names
